As parents and teachers, we know our job is to teach our children how to cope with friendships, exploration, learning, and new adventures. We also model and teach them social-emotional and self-regulation skills like the delicate dance of advocacy and empathy, how to speak up and how to listen, how to explore, and how to (figuratively) color within the lines.

They’ve got a lot to do and it can get overwhelming.

When they're little and tired or cranky, they have naps. In school, we have quiet time so that they can re-set for the second half of the day. When kids act out or lose control, we often use a spot to take a break or the "time out" place.  In my classroom, we also had a "meditation station," a feature I hear about these meditation peace spots now routinely from classroom teachers. It's generally a comfy spot to sit down to breath, relax, maybe draw and or watch fish in a bowl or image of nature. Ah….

We know these strategies help kids re-set when they lose control or feel overwhelmed. It allows them to move from the sympathetic nervous system’s fight-flight-freeze mode to parasympathetic nervous system’s rest-and-digest mode.  Then they are better able to think, reflect, and act from a more calm place.

So why is this so hard to do as adults when we’re cranky and overwhelmed?

Outcries of being "busy" have become the badges we wear and the norm of civilized life. But how utterly uncivilized to run around crazy busy, distracted, and multi-tasking.

Most of us are always on the run. Too many things on our list, too little downtime, and far too little sleep. We have the pressures of family, care-giving, and "doing it all."

• We are frustrated.

• We are lonely.

• We are sad or angry.

• We're disappointed.

• We think we are weird or flawed or most definitely alone.
  

Guess what?

Have you heard about this incredible retreat for curious and creative women that’s one year away?.  It seems to like a long way away, but in 365 days, we'll be gathering in the historic Kilkea Castle in Ireland. 

Will you be with us?

Our friends at Old Sod Travel have designed a luxurious yet, down to earth trip. This is the kind of trip where you'll have nothing to worry about because you'll be transported back in time to a 12-century castle, restored to modern charm and convenience.

• You'll be fed healthy and delicious meals.

• You'll have time to connect with other women or find a quiet space indoors or out where you can reflect and do as you please.

• You'll be able to participate in activities on the grounds that range from spa visits to hikes to historic walks.

• You'll be able to participate in group coaching, art workshops, yoga, and mindfulness sessions.

• And oh yes, you'll get to enjoy authentic Irish music and pub life.

You'll get to pick and choose what you want to do for five whole days in a most bucolic and pristine setting. 

I posted something short earlier this week on my Facebook page about this article “For the Women Who Hold Too Much.”

I think most of us can relate to feeling that sense of overwhelm when - or if - we stop to pause and explore all the feelings.

“…About lugging the weight of our worlds until our backs are bent until we can’t even see our own palms, our own wants, and needs?”

We, middle-aged females, tend to hold so much for others - literally, metaphorically, energetically. It's hard to set things down or dare I say, not even pick them up?

Often it’s because our roles demand that we pick up things - like our toddler’s toys or the dinner dishes. Or all the household tasks for our aging parents. Or that boss that leaves us and an endless stream of jobs.

Or because picking up and holding other people’s emotional baggage or physical work is a pattern we’ve fallen into.

Or because we do it unconsciously because we like to be in control or we see work that needs to be done.

Whatever the reason, many of us carry things and don’t even realize the weight of what we carry. Then recognizing the circumstances surrounding us and the feelings inhabiting us becomes even more elusive.